Sunday, March 30, 2014

SNOW, HOT COFFEE AND BIKINI-CLAD BABES

          I dragged my scrawny butt off to bed around 11pm last night and as luck would have it, like other similar nights, my big old brown eyes didn't start squinting into my own personal dreamworld until around 2am.  And then of course, one of the maladies of being my age, especially if one drinks some water or a few cold beers before bedtime, I had to cross my legs occasionally to keep from firing off a stream of water of my own as I slowly made my way down a flight of stairs in the dark and into the bathroom a couple of times.  At least the return trip to the bedroom isn't as bad, just have to be careful I don't bang into anything or stumble and fall; a tumble down the stairs would most likely do this old man in.  Due to the lack of sleep, I woke up on the late side of 7:30am and was about to shut my eyes since it's Sunday; I try not to do a whole lot of work on this day; it's my healing day, give my aching joints and saggy muscles a break.  But then I heard the howling wind and I remembered last night's weather forecast; we were in for a dump of snow today.  And yup, when I put on my spectacles and peered out the window, I could see a lot of snow swirling around outside.  I didn't waste any time in getting up because if I miss the snowplow coming by, besides the snow that is already piling up in the driveway, it piles a whole lot more on top and it's usually compacted pretty solid, which makes clearing the snow away a lot more difficult.
          I was looking forward to a relaxing and delightful mug of coffee fortified with my wife's own concoction of Bailey's this morning, but I just didn't have time.  The wind was howling like a strangled Banshee and I could see it was fierce; snow generally falls in a vertical direction, but this morning, it was right horizontal, except where in spots where it was swirling like an out of control tornado.  The snowdrifts and where I've shoveled the walkways is so high, our yard looks like a miniature Himalayas; wouldn't surprise me one little bit if a Yeti didn't pop out and start grilling me about our Bigfoot.  They have a lot of common; their feet are so big, our Bigfoot uses them to stamp out forest fires and the Yeti uses his like a pair of skis to zip down Mt. Everest.  
          I'm not sure about any other people who reside in my vicinity, but I tellya, winter could just plumb come to a drastic end for me; just up and stop.  I'd like to wake up tomorrow morning and instead of peering out the Jack Frost bedroom window at a huge dump of snow, I'd like to see a load of pink cherry blossoms, an abundance of yellow dandelions and green, green grass, greener than a Yankee dollar bill.  I want to see friendly blue skies and feel the hot sun on my naked back; enjoy a cold glass of beer in the luxurious shade of our spreading willow tree and perhaps give these old brown eyes a special treat of seeing a smiling bikini-clad young woman coming to buy a giant ice cream cone from my wife.  A guy can dream can't he?  They say once you stop dreaming and looking ahead you might as well be dead and I have no intentions of doing that yet.  However, on the downside of that remark, looking out the window and watching the snow accumulate as I write this blog, I can see if the snow keeps a falling like it is, it could well be the cause of my undoing; have me a big jammer, fall down and flick around like a dying fish until I just became another lump of white snow out in the driveway  And then of course on the brighter side, the one I'm leaning towards; as soon as I get my behind out the door and start clearing away the snow once again, the sooner I can get back inside the warm house and pour myself another mug of hot coffee, only this time I'll be making sure there is more than a good slug of my wife's special brew heaped in - cheers, eh!.   

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

STORMY WEATHER - DYIN' AND LIVIN' - MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT

          Quite possibly the worst approaching winter storm we've had so far is going to hit with a fury and wouldn't you know it; when I got up this morning to pile in some more logs, the danged thing fell apart.  And, since I'm waiting for the stove to cool off so it's possible to take a better look, see if I can fix it, thought I'd take the time and write a few words - I see I haven't written a blog for awhile now. Although the sun is shining, it's -20 outside and as I wait for the stove to cool, I can already feel the cold seeping through the cracks - like a good shot of hemlock - I can already feel my feet and legs getting cold.
          I've been home alone now for about a week and still have over a week to go before Sarah returns from Lethbridge, Alta.  She's visiting her mom and dad and there's a good possibility that it will be the last time she will see her dad alive again - yup - he's basically on death's doorstep, ready to say his last sayonara, adios, adieu before that old scythe-wielder knocks on his door for the last time.  The way he is, at the moment, feels pretty close to home (no pun intended) because he's only a couple of years older than me.  Can you believe I'm only one year older than Sarah's mom?  Yeah, I'm a cradle-robber, at least that's what I've been told but hey, Sarah's pushing almost 50 - long way from the cradle aint it?  But getting back to dying, doesn't matter who they are or what their age is, death always puts us in touch with our own mortality.  Like it or not, we're all gamblers in life's big crap game; especially when death roll the dice pretty close to home base; we thank our stars that we're still looking down at the flowers than up at the ones placed on top of our casket.  Dang, since I haven't exactly lived my life in a shy manner, to tell the truth, I guess I never really expected to grow old; to live this long.  But geesh, here I am; a wrinkled up old geesher that even a gallon of black hair dye and a hot iron couldn't make me younger again.  Oh yeah, all that fake stuff can probably make me look younger but hell, my old rundown body would still say otherwise; aches and pains, stiff joints and out of breath on a short downhill walk, like it or not, still tells the truth about my age - lookin' young doesn't make me young.
          There are some folks who don't like computers and everything they entail but to me, rather than just being a social media, where every 2 minutes I post what I'm doing with a "selfie" photo, as if people actually give a shit about me that much, I find it is quite a good learning tool - lot of good information out there.  However, that being said, the internet is still a good way of locating someone; a good friend of mine that I'd lost touch with when we moved to NB just sent an email to my art website - a very pleasant surprise.  Although he's 20 years younger, it was good to hear from him since the ruts that his motorcycle has traveled and encountered are much the same as mine.  Yeah, the wide and straight easy-going roads have never been for us or if they were, we just din't drive them very often; there's a lot more excitement leaning into a hard curve at a high speed, the foot peg scraping along the pavement creating a shower of sparks.  But don't get me wrong, it's still great to be alive even if I'm old and somewhat crotchety and revvin' up the rocking chair doesn't make it go any faster and I sure don't lean into it either or I'd find myself trying to pick myself up off the floor if I was still able to.  Yeah, fast bikes, fast women, cold beers, a roll of the dice, a turn of the card, I wouldn't say doesn't interest me, it's just that I'm unable to play that game anymore - let's say I've just outgrown it - the good young days of summer have gone forever.  Oops, almost forgot, I may be old but I aint half dead yet - still got me a good woman and it's time for a cold beer but not before I hopefully put the old wood stove back together - cheers, eh!        

Sunday, March 2, 2014

SELF-PUBLISHED A BOOK - THE CONFESSION AND 5 OTHER SHORT STORIES

          February flew away for another year and March is just marchin' along - time just doesn't sit still for a moment; won't be long before April is upon us.  Seems like the snow and coldness has let up a bit the past while, which is just fine for this old man's arthritic bones.  As much as I'd been looking forward to working on the bathroom renos the past week, I spent some time self-publishing a book of short stories - bloody hell but it costs a goodly amount to do such a thing, even when a person does all the work themselves.  Also, my wife Sarah self-published a book of poetry as well; can hardly wait to see the results and read it.  
          During my first winter living here and not being used to so much snow and freezing weather, I wrote 27 short stories, 5 of which are in this new book.  I had a lot of fun writing these stories; really let my imagination flow.  Besides the two illustrations in the book, I had fun doing the covers, trying to depict the meanings of the other individual stories  I was hoping to keep the price down to around 10 bucks but as it turned out with printing, shipping and taxes, looks like I have to sell it for 15 bucks.  But hey, what can a person buy for 20 bucks or less these days unless you're a devout Dollar Store shopper - 20 bucks worth of gas barely gets a car out of the driveway.

          If I can break a bit even selling this book, perhaps I'll consider putting another book of short stories together and I've got scads of poetry and also several children's stories that I wrote.  It would be great to find a publisher instead of having to do all the work myself, even though I don't mind doing all the mechanical stuff for putting a book together - editing is certainly time consuming.  Since I've got a couple of speaking engagements coming up this summer in regards to a sailing trip and a book (Arctic Odyssey) that I wrote about the voyage, I just may put another short story book together, just might be able to sell a few to a captured and hopefully captivated audience.
          It's getting close to supper time and I'm going to make sushi; the wife and I having an evening alone together - Jessica has gone for a sleepover for a couple of days with a two of her friends.  I do believe we're going to watch The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (foreign film with subtitles) since we really enjoyed reading the book  There are two sequels to this book and I'm very much looking forward to reading them as well.  Should be a great evening and tomorrow I believe we are going for supper at First Settler's Lodge in Maine - the food is sumptuously delicious.  Well, the rice should be cool now and since I've looked after the chickens for the day, I do believe I'll head into the house and make us some sushi; pour myself a cold beer too - cheers, eh!