An old man and a fat chick were standing at the edge of the highway as a shiny black convertible, tires squealing, made a sharp U-turn in front of them; the driver yelling out the window, "An' don't come back if you know what's good for you!"
The last thing the couple saw before the convertible zoomed down the highway and disappeared into the desert darkness was the back license plate, which read: SNAKE-EYES, Las Vegas, Nevada.
As the distant convertible’s engine droned into complete silence, looking up at the stars shining overhead, the old man quietly said, "It could have been worse."
"What do you mean worse?" the fat chick exclaimed.
"Sometimes people just don't get left in the middle of nowhere alongside the highway, they're found in the middle of the desert with a little hole in their shiny white skull."
"They wouldn't have dared! I'm a big star - the best damned singer they ever had or ever will!" The old man rolled his eyes in the darkness but didn't say a word as she continued, "What are we going to do now? I've barely got anything on; just what I was wearing when they yanked me off the stage and threw us into the back seat of the car. I can hardly go walking down the highway wearing nothing but a flimsy top, a skirt just barely below my crotch, fish net stockings and high-heels unless you've got something in that beat-up, little old suitcase you always carry around with you?"
The old man took off his shirt and draped it over her shoulders and said, "I'd give you my over-alls but then I'd be walking down the highway wearing nothing but a smile and my ding-dong bouncing off my knees."
Looking at the old man with a peculiar expression on her face, the fat chick asked, "It's that long?"
"Well, not really. It's just an expression I use." Whether or not she saw him wink or not he said, "But it aint that small either."
The fat chick chuckled and said, "We can't stand here all night." Buttoning up the old man's shirt, wrapping her arms together just below her heavy breasts she said, "Brr, I'm beginning to get cold; let's start walking. Hopefully a car will come along soon and we can catch a ride to the next town."
Picking up his small battered suitcase, the old man and the fat chick began walking down the highway, the white lines on the black pavement barely discernable in the darkness. Dark spooky shadows, most likely tall cactus growing near the side of the road, looked like a gathering of highway men about to charge out of the darkness and rob them. They walked in silence, except for a curse now and then from the fat chick as she stumbled in her high-heels. She had fallen once and was surprised when the old man stooped down and picked her up off the road quite easily. He always seemed so frail when he stood slouching back stage while she sang her heart out. How long had Sammy been her manager and faithful companion she wondered - must be at least five years she thought. Five long years; and she barely knew the man.
As they trudged along, kicking the odd stone bouncing along the highway or into the dried out ditch, she remembered meeting him at a bar where she was performing. At first she thought he was hitting on her when he told her he had some connections in the entertainment world and that he could probably get her some better gigs than what she was accustomed to and was very surprised when he did. She was thinner and younger then - a very sultry and sexy looking woman. Where did those years go when he found some high-class lounges for her to perform in and the pounds - when did she start piling all the pounds on? At 47, she was still an attractive woman, even though her best friend was a bottle of dye. But who was she kidding, although her voice was quite good, she knew she was just a mediocre singer at best and getting yanked off stage finally hit home; her singing gigs were numbered. How Sammy managed to get her a gig in a big Las Vegas night club was beyond her; he just told her he knew some people and they owed him. She thought she'd hit the big-time, she was going to finally be a big star with her own Vegas act when the curtain lifted and the spotlight was directed upon her but she hadn't even began to sing the second verse to one of her best songs when they dropped the curtain, drove them out of town and dropped them in the middle of the desert.
To be continued...cheers - eh!
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