Happy New Year all!
New Year's eve was quiet here on Golden Unicorn Farm. As it turned out, Sarah's kids stayed overnight with friend's of theirs, so it was just the wife and I, a bottle of bubbly, lots of goodies to nibble on and a new couch to break in (wink, wink) - a very satisfying night, even though we didn't quite stay awake to celebrate the entrance of the New Year. T'is the time for making resolutions and although I'm not in favour of such delusions of actually following through, it might be a good idea to make a few and at least try to live up to the odd one, especially since I have so much to do this year.
When I woke up this morning, I hate to admit it, but I actually felt old, as old as water and dirt - farted bubbles and dust. Since putting my back out on Christmas evening from doing something as simple as bending over, I'm still aching pretty much everywhere. Although I'm getting around good, I have a few somewhat laborious chores to attend to, which I'm deliberately putting off for a little while longer, just in case my back packs it in once again and then I could be really hooped, unable to do anything for perhaps a long time. Falling down at my age is most likely not a good thing to do; bones are as brittle as uncooked noodles. And, I did have a fall recently - while taking Luki's dog food to him, both feet suddenly shot out from under me; being unsuspectingly airborne for a split second, not even a chance to slightly recover, dog dish and food scattering everywhere, I came down hard; right next to a big boulder - hate to think what sort of shape I'd be in now, if I had landed on it; probably make my sore back seem like a very petty injury.
This getting old is not what I had intended when I was young. Of course, being young, agile, virile, seemingly immune to injury, I never really considered getting old; at least not much further than 40. Even though I could see my reflection in the mirror changing over the years, old age was just one of those things that gradually just snuck up on me; wrinkles appearing where the skin used to be smooth; brown hair turning white; baggy eyes, saggy muscles - can hardly believe what Sarah's teenage niece said to me one day, when we went swimming at a lake and she stared at my chest, "Looks like you could wear B cups?" I was about to make a snide remark back, since she was almost flat in that area but thought better of it - the truth hurt!
I watched a movie the other day (forgot the name of it - seems like my memory is going south too). It was about a guy, a good looking middle-aged guy, who one day just up and walked out on his wife and two daughters. He admitted that he didn't like aging and that was the reasoning why he went from one much younger woman to the next. I sometimes wonder if subconsciously that was my reasoning so many years ago, when I did much the same thing. Over the years, quite a few women have accused me of being cursed with the Peter Pan syndrome - acting like a boy - never growing up - always acting immature. Also, speaking about younger women, my wife Sarah is 25 years younger than me. It's a funny thing about age though; this growing old; a lot of people swear that having kids around, keeps you feeling young but being there myself, I can tell you that it's just a crock. If anything makes me feel old, it's watching someone young doing all the things I used to be able to do easily; their energy and vitality way beyond this old guy's reach; I don't even pretend to keep up. But as odd as it may seem, I sometimes think of myself as the old bull standing with a younger bull looking down on a herd of cows munching away in a pasture. There is a certain amount of wisdom that comes with age, so when the young bull said, "Let's run down the hill and f__k one." The old bull raised an eyebrow and replied, "Let's just walk down and f__k 'em all!"
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I sometimes see the younger Lenny looking back; especially if I take my glasses off - certainly makes a big difference. Although the white is now somewhat bloodshot, I still have the same old dog shit-brown eyes and they haven't lost their sparkle. I realize a lot of people thought Sarah and I were foolish to marry because of the large age difference, and believe me, we almost didn't because of that very reason. But when she said to me, "If we have even 5 years of happiness together, it'll be worth it" and after some consideration, I agreed. Why just last night, New Year's eve, while sipping on a cool glass of champagne, since our 5th Anniversary is coming up in July, we chatted about that very conversation. I've come to the conclusion that age and years have nothing much to do with anything - we all just live in the moment and that moment can end forever at any time. And, if that is the case, then what I say is, grab that moment, seize that moment by it's scrawny neck, and live that moment; live it like it's the last moment because we never really know when that last moment will be. I have taken part in people's very last moments - have actually watched their eyes dim, the sparkle of life disappear and then used my fingers to gently shut them. Actually, after typing that last sentence, wondering how to finish off this blog, I could make a resolution and not just one for this year but every year - lifting my glass high this New Year, 2012 day - my toast is this - "Here's to the moment!" - Cheers, eh!
hey Len,
ReplyDeleteA reasonable good year to you too,with not to much aches and pains.love your blog(s)finally somebody comes out with the truth about his old age.always blamed my rather pessimistic outlook on live to see things a lot like you.but hey,you know the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?the pessimist is better informed.
even do you got 20years on top of mine,i seen infant signs of body problems mature over the last couple of years and yes i am fighting the urge to go downstairs to fetch my reading glasses so i can type a little faster just to save my self the descend and climb of 12 lousy stair treads.the healing process just slows down,still feel at least 2 painful spots in my body,courtesy of last years building season, that don't wanna say; see you again sometimes this year.and what's with the hair,even it seams to get tired,dos not want to make the long way up to your scalp anymore,nose and ears is close enough lets just settle here.i dread the day when my index finger will hover just a fraction past the cocky click of right now, over the delete button, to erase adds of Viagra and Cialis in my junk box.
otherwise i am grant and don't have a reason to complain,still a top sufferer in the world;s population that wines at circumstances without putting to much effort in to better things,i laugh at myself sometimes when i look in the mirror(lat.;to adore);what,never seen a hypocrite before?
i am rambling,just wanna let you know iam with you and yes getting old ore in my case getting
older,Sucks.
and eh,c"est la vie
Carsten
.
Hey
ReplyDeleteThanks for making a comment Carsten and I'm glad to see that you have a good sense of humour regarding this getting old (could be the last thing a person loses just before the body, mind and soul packs it in). The funny thing I've found since I hit 70, I used to say this getting old sucks but since I can't kid myself any longer, I now say this being old sucks. However, one thing about being this age is that it's actually an accomplishment of a sort - almost feel like I should be receiving a diploma - buried a lot of younger friends and family along the way down this crooked path of life. Here's a hint of hope for you Carsten, since you're still quite a few years behind me, it's true, I'm not as virile, the sexual appetite not quite the same as it once was, but Viagra still isn't on my medication list - I figure you use it; you don't lose it - cheers, eh!