Do you ever wonder why you wonder about the wonders of this wonderfully wondering world - what's with the fascination of fascinating on these fascinations? I don't know why I wonder about these wondrous fascinations, but I do.
A man by the name of Elmer Cline gave the wonderful fluffy white bread that's so common in the supermarkets its name, you know the one I mean; "Wonder Bread". I guess we can't blame Elmer (Vice President of Taggert Baking Co.) for looking up one day, back in 1921 andseeing a bunch of balloons, mainly red, white and blue, floating aimlessly around up in the sky and thought it was a "wonder". He probably didn't realize it then but he quite likely became the "King of Haemorrhoids" and after growing up for the majority of my younger life eating Wonder Bread, I have or did have the haemorrhoids to prove it. Can you imagine having your arse hole reamed out by a Dr. Dowell - well I did! But hey, his probably not so delicate operation inside my wondrous anal cavity did the trick and I have to say thank you Dr. Dowell - I don't crap what used to feel like razor blades any more. So what's the fascination about white, airy, bread that has almost no nutritional value and is almost fibre free - I have no idea, and I still wonder why that not so wondrous bread is still being sold? For those of you who still eat Wonder Bread, the next time you buy a loaf and lather a slice up with some butter, take and roll it in your hands for a moment - why bother biting off a pieces of bread one after the other when it easily rolls up into a small bite sized ball of dough.
And while I'm on the topic of so called food, I wonder about the fascination concerning chocolate bars and of course the one called Wunderbar (German meaning wonderful). Nothing to much to ponder or wonder about a chocolate bar; they taste tantalizingly delicious, even a Wunderbar. However, unlike white, fluffy bread, it's not a mainstay in most people's diet - it's more like a treat. Sure, if you devour enough of Wunderbar chocolate bars, there's a good possibility your teeth will eventually rot and fall out and your face could turn into one huge puss-filled pimple, that when squeezed hard enough, could quite possibly shoot across a room and stick to the wall. I get a real kick out of reading the nutritional facts printed on a chocolate bar's wrapper - why don't they skip all that and just say, "little or none." Hmm, just thinking about a Wunderbar chocolate bar is exciting my taste buds and it's no wonder - each bite is scrumptudelicious. I've never really wondered about Wunderbar chocolate bars but ever since Cadbury came up with the slogan, "How do they get the caramel in the Caramilk bar?" I have to say it has made me pause to wonder just how they managed to do that.
I guess one of the wonders, if not the "wonder", what we most wonder about, is where we came from. All sorts of wonderful theories on that one, all manner of chin-wagging and absolutely no real proof, just a lot of scientific conjecture - all the revelations are right up there with "What came first; the chicken or the egg?" Science is grand, but whichever scientist is in charge of cloning a dinosaur has about the same degree of mentality as Mr. Elmer Cline, especially when the population is so huge, it's becoming more and more difficult and very, very expensive to feed everyone. Do you have any idea, actually wonder how much food those reptiles would put away in a day? Perhaps that's it; the wonders that be are planning on starting a Brontosoraus ranch - can you imagine how many steaks and pot roasts that could be butchered from a reptile that size, and then again, would it be cost effective to raise these beasts and could even a fence be built strong enough to hold them in? The list goes on and on about all the wonders of the world and quite possibly, I think it was the good book (Bible) that stated it best, "It's not for us to know." But even saying that, I still can't help wondering about a great many unexplainable wonders, especially when Dr. Bruce Banner transforms into a giant green-skinned The Incredible Hulk and his boxer shorts still fit - must be made of incredibly tough Spandex - cheers, eh!
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