MYSELF TO BLAME

          I went to the Fosterville Community Hall Jamboree yesterday afternoon; it was a good time.  Many of the women living in the area put on a great spread of food - buffet style - baked beans being the main stay and desserts that just plain made your mouth water.  The two hours of musical entertainment was top-notch; the mood congenial, humorous and definitely wholesome - a little bit of dancing but not a drop of alcohol to be seen - who says people can't have a good time just being themselves, acting normal.  Unfortunately for me I guess, I'm kind of a quiet guy; don't mingle well - hardly what some might call a schmoozer - so while most people were visiting over dinner and afterwards, Sarah and Jessica having to prepare the Community Hall at the end of the event for a 4-H Senior's Dinner for today, I quietly slipped out the front door and trod on down the road towards home.
          Besides the band called Side Effects, we listened to the music of a gentle man, by the name of Jack McAffee, a New Brunswick Hall of Fame honorary.  Besides strumming and picking his guitar in a cordial manner, Jack also wrote many of the songs he sang for us - the man certainly does have an overdose of talent.  One of the songs he wrote was inspired by the words on a fridge magnet and I gather he must live quite a distance from Fosterville because he mentioned "the drive was a long and bumpy road".  Funny, his words sort of stuck with me, but since I don't sing well or play a musical instrument, instead of a song, a poem began forming in my mind.  It's been a long time since I've written any poems and I guess if I was to put all the ones I've written over the years together, I'd probably have a small book of poetry.  Now lots of people don't like to read poetry and I've heard  it called very egotistical but whether it is or not, sometimes words like brush strokes on a canvas start forming an image inside this old cranium and like a magician, I just have to release the magic.  I have no idea if the poem is good or bad but maybe someone reading this blog will relate to it as I do - I mean most people's lives go down or up a "long and bumpy road".    

Myself to Blame

The road has been a long and bumpy ride

Sometimes alone or with someone by my side

Some curves and twists too much to handle

Without a prayer book or a candle

I oft times veered off course, then crashed in flames

With just myself, myself to blame

Yeah, the road has been hard and long

Searchin’ for a place to belong

I’ve travelled here, I’ve travelled there

Guess I’ve travelled most everywhere

Sometimes cautiously and with care

But most times I simply took a dare

And that’s when I veered off course, crashed in flames

With just myself, myself to blame

I’ve experienced valley lows and mountain sighs

Meadow moon glows and cliff-hanger cries

And never knowin’ what’s commin’ round the bend

Riding the bumpy curves and twists to the end

I guess is what it’s all about to me my friend

But that’s okay, that’s alright

As long as I’m continuing towards the light

Sometimes veering off course and crashing in flames
Aint so bad, with just myself, myself to blame

                                             
          For those of you who have read this far, I hope you enjoyed my little poem.  There have been times over the years during my life when I was of course influenced by people, which made me take a bad turn and stray from the road but I can't really blame them for the outcomes; I made the choices.  Comes right down to it, we're all accountable or at least we should be for the actions of our own deeds.  I sometimes have blamed others, tried to shift the load on my shoulders onto someone else but even when I've done that, I've realized I've only been lying to myself.  But I don't deny it; I've got a little coward existing, hiding out within the rib bones near to my heart that sometimes pops his big ugly yellow head out and puts words into my mouth that makes me ashamed of what I said and how I reacted; some of those words still stick in my craw, enough to make me choke, turn crimson red and sputter when I think about it.

          Since Sarah is the hostess of the 4-H dinner for seniors very shortly, she baked a bunch of muffins smeared with colourful sweet icing and is probably, as these words hit the monitor, preparing the remainder of the dinner at the Community Hall - either soup - although I expect baked beans will be the main stay once again.  I expect like yesterday, after stuffing myself with baked beans and other tasty morsels, my rear end will once again become a musical instrument - albeit - I doubt very much that the Side Effects or Jack would want me harmonizing with them - cheers, eh!