Have you ever wondered about "The Meaning of Life". Juan Ponce de Leon sailed with Christopher Columbus on his second voyage to the New World (something I didn't know about, besides several other billion things) where he remained in Hispaniola and became governor of nearby Puerto Rico (Boriquien) in 1508. He heard of a magical water source (Fountain of Youth) that was located in Florida, which he thought was an island. Poor old Juan, I guess he didn't find the Fountain of Youth because he and his men were attacked by Indians and he died in Cuba from his wounds. I suppose if one were to find and drink the water from the Fountain of Youth, one wouldn't worry about searching for the "meaning of life" or if they did, they would have one hellova long time to discover it. I've never really concerned myself too much about growing old, trying to look younger and act younger even though quite a few people have told me if I died my hair, I would look a lot younger - to me, I'd still be just an old man with young looking hair - hardly worth the effort of continually dying it. However, I did go searching for "the meaning of life", well, just my own life.
For the first 40 odd years of my life, I just trundled about, going with the flow, banging through them with little or no concern of where I was headed. Unfortunately, when I didn't really have a goal, other than planning on retiring with a million bucks jammed into my wallet (which I almost did until I lost it all) I hurt a lot of people - not intentionally, but hurt them just the same. With my tail between my legs, I retreated from society and a lot of what it stood for as I tried to get my thoughts and feelings together. With a lot of time on my hands then, I went searching for "the meaning of my life" - where I'd gone so very wrong and where I wanted to head to from that day forward. But you know, I discovered we all have our own personal ruts and some of them are just so damn deep, it's almost impossible to get out of them and change our direction, at least that's what I found out about myself.
30 years have gone by, since I went in search of "the meaning of my life" but I did discover some things that had some very good value and of course others that had little value. I discovered having gobs of bucks wasn't the answer because I've managed to survive thus far on a fairly meagre yearly income over the years - but fortunately, I'm quite talented - and oh yeah - talent is not "the meaning of life" for me either - it's a gift and something I've worked hard at, which sometimes I give away or earn a few bucks - depends on the job and sometimes who it's for. I've been lucky - I've loved and been loved in return and that could be a good portion of "the meaning of my life" - I know it certainly helps a person get through the day - coffee's just an addiction, a cop-out for not beginning the day properly - oh yeah, stimulates of any kind are not "the meaning of my life" - if anything, they've almost ended my life on occasion.
But what is the "Meaning of Life?" I'm a religious man in my own sense - not the church-going variety who don't question anything, but certainly an appreciator of this wondrous world and the entire Universe. Searching for "the meaning of my life", I doubt will take me to a heaven for an eternity of bliss and meeting all those that were a big part of my life while I was alive - and hell - well hell, that just scares the hell out of me if such a place actually exists. As hard as I've searched for "the meaning of my life", I have to admit there doesn't seem to be any real purpose - I don't feel that I'm any more important than a vein on the leaf of a gigantic tree but I do realize that the tree needs me and I need the tree. I remember a long time ago when I was working as an artist animating films, a woman artist in the same department told me that she thought I was highly intelligent until she heard me speak - being a talented artist and having brains are two different categories - however, that did teach me a lesson - listen well and try to converse intelligently - still not "the meaning of my life" though.
I guess if there is "meaning to my life", which might be equally of value to other people, I would have to say, whatever good resides within - pass it on - teach others but not be egotistical about it. I'm not sure, rather doubtful actually, that I'll ever find the "Meaning of Life" but that doesn't matter, I still enjoy learning new things and searching for "the meaning of my life" and I have to say, it's certainly wonderful when I discover something that adds real meaning to it - cheers, eh!
I've had some real soul-searching times during my life, smacks that have knocked me flat on my back, some of which were my own mistakes and others unprepared for, which I'm certain many other people have experienced as well. I'd be interested in reading about other people's search for the "Meaning of Life" who read this blog because I doubt very much there is just one reason for the "Meaning of Life" and I'm still searching - please feel free to leave a comment at the end of this blog.
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