I't's blog time...it's blog time...it's time to write a blog...time - musical little ditty that just came to mind. Doesn't look like anything when you read it but when I wrote it, I was singin' those words, stompin' my feet and bangin' on the keyboard to an old rag-time beat that was just a thumpin' through my mind. I'm settled down now, just little old normal me sittin' here, gazin' out my window at the meltin' snow - did I say meltin' snow? Yup, looks like, and I'm hopin' that good old winter has finally blown its last blast of freezin' wind this way. Went to the Farmers' Market in Woodstock yesterday and I could scarce believe me eyes, all along the curvy and bone-joltin' (frost-heave paradise) country road, an abundance of red-breasted robins could be seen - true harbingers of approachin' spring. That in itself is on the comical side, since spring officially arrived three weeks ago in most places. Here it is, dang near the middle of April and we've still got about 3' feet of snow in the yard. If there's any daffodils under the snow, I'd be mighty surprised. For those of you in the more temperate regions, you know the places I mean, where the inhabitants have nothing better to do than count blossoms, I'd like you to know that our snow flakes far out numbered your blossoms - so there - and hey, they are just as beautiful in their own way!
Writing a blog, I would imagine is very egotistical but I wouldn't know, my head has become so enlarged I can't see my body any longer - just the tip of my toes sticking out past my chin can be seen by these big old brown eyes. I've had all kind of remarks like your blogs "always put a smile on my face", "sometimes they're interesting" to "what kind of disgusting tripe is this?" - the thing to remember about me writing anything at all and actually having a few books published, is the fact that I had the worst English marks during my highschool years - one of my teachers was actually so frustrated with me that he crushed a hunk of chalk on my back and cracked me across the ass with a wooden yardstick in front of the whole class. So what do I know about dangling participles today - absolutely nothing and as long as they're not dangling in my way, I'm okay with that. Needless to say I flunked English and because of that, I never graduated, which was fine with me because I quit school just before prom - being the shortest guy in Grade 12 and covered with pimples wouldn't have made for any decent photos anyway and the poor girl who would have been forced to be my date for the evening would have cried so hard she most likely would have ruined her expensive gown.
And speaking of books being published - Golden Unicorn Publishing - http://www.goldenunicornpublishing.com/book-store.html just published one of my books titled: The Confession and Other Short Stories. When my first book Arctic Odyssey was published by Fine Edge Productions, the publisher Don Douglass told me to sell my book shamelessly. Needless to say, I never took his advice - the book was so over-priced when it hit the book stores, it was a downright bloody shame to ask strangers, let alone my family and friends to purchase one, although I did do that - had a wine and cheese book signing - wasn't so bad after everyone was three sheets to the wind and would have bought anything just to keep the party going.
The short stories I wrote, probably like many other imaginative authors write, is often based on personal events that actually occurred during our lives and The Confession is such a story. While reading this highly interesting, sometimes violent and occasionally a love story (pushing the selling aspect of the book) to my wife Sarah after we went to bed one evening, I would sometimes ask her if the part I had just read was true or not. By the end of the story, she was most likely wondering what sort of man I was and if it had been a good idea marrying me 7 years ago. Yeah, there's a lot of truth in that story but then again, there is also a whole lot of bullshit in it too - but regardless - I feel it's a good tale and most people will enjoy the read. The other five stories are of course completely fictional, straight out of this old guy's imaginative cranium; stories that I wrote, along with 23 others, 3 years ago, during my first long winter in Fosterville, New Brunswick - bloody winters just never seem to end. If you've read this far, I must have your attention so...guess what...I'm going to try and sell you my new book - what a bargain! Only 15 bucks + a small shipping charge if you don't live in Fosterville - and there's not much chance of that. Yep, only $15. and you can receive this wonderful book (Makes a Great Gift Too!) along with my autograph, or not, the choice is yours. To buy this book, what could be considered a BESTSELLER in Fosterville since the population is only around 50 people in the winter, you can either click on the Golden Unicorn Publishing link (above) or send an email to lenwsherman@gmail.com I take cash, cheques, PayPal and sometimes even trade. How was this for shameless selling Don Douglass - it must make you proud that I've finally taken your advice?
Time to go in the house now; the coffee should be ready and if nothing else, it's time to let some of the air out of my inflated ego - what can I say, at this age, I seem to pass a lot more more wind - cheers, eh!
The short stories I wrote, probably like many other imaginative authors write, is often based on personal events that actually occurred during our lives and The Confession is such a story. While reading this highly interesting, sometimes violent and occasionally a love story (pushing the selling aspect of the book) to my wife Sarah after we went to bed one evening, I would sometimes ask her if the part I had just read was true or not. By the end of the story, she was most likely wondering what sort of man I was and if it had been a good idea marrying me 7 years ago. Yeah, there's a lot of truth in that story but then again, there is also a whole lot of bullshit in it too - but regardless - I feel it's a good tale and most people will enjoy the read. The other five stories are of course completely fictional, straight out of this old guy's imaginative cranium; stories that I wrote, along with 23 others, 3 years ago, during my first long winter in Fosterville, New Brunswick - bloody winters just never seem to end. If you've read this far, I must have your attention so...guess what...I'm going to try and sell you my new book - what a bargain! Only 15 bucks + a small shipping charge if you don't live in Fosterville - and there's not much chance of that. Yep, only $15. and you can receive this wonderful book (Makes a Great Gift Too!) along with my autograph, or not, the choice is yours. To buy this book, what could be considered a BESTSELLER in Fosterville since the population is only around 50 people in the winter, you can either click on the Golden Unicorn Publishing link (above) or send an email to lenwsherman@gmail.com I take cash, cheques, PayPal and sometimes even trade. How was this for shameless selling Don Douglass - it must make you proud that I've finally taken your advice?
Time to go in the house now; the coffee should be ready and if nothing else, it's time to let some of the air out of my inflated ego - what can I say, at this age, I seem to pass a lot more more wind - cheers, eh!
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