LESS IS BEST

          Seems like even if a person would like to slow life down just a little bit, you know, keep those wrinkles and sags from deepening and hanging even further than your knees, your mind steady and sharp with memories still intact, life just continues marching on to its own indomitable beat, totally oblivious to our concerns and needs.  No matter how many people tell me I look young for my age and that physically I'm not in too bad of shape, I know realistically that I'm kind of an old codger and like my Uncle Joe, a quiet man with a wry grin, used to say when he was diagnosed with cancer, "I get a little nervous when I walk by a shovel" - that's me now, the way I sometimes feel when the Grim Reaper comes to mind.  In the end, cancer got him, just like it or some other malady, even old age, will eventually take its toll on me - nobody gets out of here alive - not even Harry Houdini who was an amazing escape artist.  His wife Bess said, after the tenth Harry Houdini seance attempt, "Ten years is long enough to wait for any man!" I imagine if anyone could have found a way back from the grave, it would have been good old Harry but after 124 years, I suspect he won't be back; then again, maybe he's still trying!.

Harry Houdini

          And when I think about it, that's all a person can really do - just keep on trying - make their life as fulfilling as possible and don't be afraid to take risks.  Look at old Harry - all bent over, chained and manacled, most likely about to be hung by his heels inside a locked steel safe 

and tossed into a river.  He died a fairly young man, 52 years of age, but the thing about Harry is that he died doing what he enjoyed.  I think the thing to remember about life and it's something I'm unable to get my head around because I still keep on accumulating stuff as if I'm going to take it with me when I go, but Less is Best.  A time came in my life, when as many people are today and were then, I was basically a workaholic, a million bucks was my goal; to retire in grandeur on some tropical beach or some well-manicured estate - now that was a waste of time.  When that goal was shattered by a recession, my life at the time totally out of control, chaotic to the nth degree by my immature behaviour and way too many beers, I didn't know it at the time, but it was the best thing that could have happened to me.  It's true that I've often times taken the path of least resistance, which is sometimes a fool's choice but hell, an uncharted, crooked path slows a person down, gave me a chance to stub my toes, trip and fall and smell the flowers so to speak.

          What I eventually discovered after I didn't feel guilty about not working 12-16 hours a day and trying to hoard away a small king's ransom and that Less is Best - I now had a shitload of time to do whatever I pleased - instead of working a normal 5 day week with 2 days off, I now worked 2 days with 5 days off - like everyone else, I still had bills to pay but they were a lot smaller.  I went from searching for jobs to avoiding them and it's not because I was a lazy guy - it's just that my needs were a lot smaller and easier to manage.  I retired at around age 42 - not with a million bucks but broke - creditors clinging to my ass like a flock of flies and like Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens) I never went bankrupt - I settled my accounts with everyone.  

          Here it is, the middle of the week and I'm kind of living in the middle of nowhere, New Brunswick, on a semi-wilderness 50 acres, chickens pecking about, a pregnant goat searching for non existent fresh green leaves, a cat creeping around looking for juicy mice and a huge dog to protect the lot of them - another wife and two more kids but still, as much as I have, which is actually more than I really need but because I moved to a place that was more affordable, I actually feel like I'm still kinda living like Less is Best.  It's difficult to shake our self-importance but when I'm up to my armpits in chicken shit, it kind of keeps me stabilized and in place.  Since most people, especially city dwellers don't have the opportunity to muck out a hen house and a barn, in order to keep check on any inflated egos, I recommend that when they drop a steamin' 16-coiler into the toilet, they bend over, take a good look at what they deposited and then suck in its putrid aroma through their noses - gives a whole new meaning to what we are truly about and the meaning of our lives.  No matter how big a mansion we live in, how new our automobile is, how well we're dressed, how good looking we are, how much wealth we have - like it or not, we are all full of shit in the scheme of things, and even though Less is Best, that's the way I see it - cheers - eh!