Will She or Won't She
A mermaid is a supernatural, legendary vixen of the sea. The upper portion of the body consists of a beautiful woman and the lower portion is that of a fish. Traditionally, mermaids, besides being very beautiful, also had melodious voices, which was a definite turn on to a bunch of scruffy sailors jammed together for long periods of time at sea without any female companions; it's no wonder they ran their ships into the rocks trying to reach one of those gorgeous sirens. No one seems to know how they came into existence; sort of like the chicken and the egg; which came first, the woman or the fish? And, what if the top portion had been a fish rather than a woman - I wonder how many sailors would have been interested in listening to a fish croon, "I'm forever blowing bubbles."
Undoubtedly mesmerized by the mermaid's long brilliant red hair, rosy red cheeks and ruby lips, not to mention her voluptuous, enormous breasts, the captain of the Macho has unwittingly allowed the mermaid to tie a line to his ship. Because of his suave good looks, he imagines himselft to be irrisistable, a real lady killer - if he only knew! Instead of holding a bottle of wine and posies in his hand to woo the mermaid, he should be clasping a sword so he can sever the line because Will She or Won't She destroy his ship by whipping it into the ominous moon?
The clown fish isn't concerned about the captain's fate; just figures he's another clown that's been captivated and must have forgotten or perhaps been overly smitten, beguiled and enamored by the sensual womanly attributes displayed before him that he's failed to realize women have most men wrapped around their little fingers.
The mermaid depicted in Will She or Won't She is a characterization of my wife Sarah. And like the captain; on our first date, I showed up with a huge bottle of red wine (skipped the flowers) and boy, did we have fun!
Not sure how many people are interested in mermaids but if you've already read this far, you might be interested in reading a poem I wrote, which was based on a true story that I'd heard about while living on my sailboat. And then again, perhaps like fishermen; sailors have long tales to tell as well. However, as the story goes, the owner of a small sailboat was in need of a person to help sail his boat to Hawaii and he put the word out. A seasoned sailor agreed to go with him most of the way, which seemed unusual, since there are no islands between Vancouver Island and Hawaii. As their voyage progressed the sailor told the captain that they were nearing his destination and he would have to leave soon - he was going to marry a dolphin. The captain thought he was of course joking. However, after waking up after taking a nap one afternoon, when he came up on deck, the sailor had vanished. Since there was barely any wind, the sailboat was just poking along, if the sailor had fallen overboard, he could easily have climbed back on. Either he drowned in the middle of the Pacific Ocean searching for his beloved dolphin or he married one - perhaps that's how mermaids are created.
Har! C'me 'ere and set a spell,
'Cause this old salty dog o' the sea
Has a yarn to spin, a tale to tell
That'll keep yuh in awe and ecstasy.
'Twas a clear night such as this,
A sliver of a moon in the sky,
The sea as flat as a plate of piss;
That I heard a maiden's melancholy cry.
At first I thought it a trick,
A light breeze through the riggin' and sails;
So I gives meself a good hard kick,
But I 'ears it again, 'er mournful wails.
It sounds as if she's cryin'
Alone, adrift on the endless sea;
A castaway on a raft dyin'
'Til I hears 'er voice call clear to me.
I squinted through the darkness
Across the star reflected sea;
I'll be blow'd! For off in the blarkness
Stood an isle and its maid o' mystery!
Voice as soft as an angel's,
She hallooed out to me by name.
Agin me logic, agin me will,
I steered the boat closer to test 'er game.
I could scarce believe me e'e!
She sat stark naked on a rock;
Smilin', 'er long arms outstretched to me
Beckonin', "come ashore an' 'ave a wee talk."
Tell me. Do I look like a fool?
On second thought, don't answer that;
Not 'til on the tale I've thrown more fuel,
Don't make y'ur final rule on this chat.
I ached for those slender arms,
Her coquettish smile of desire;
To be enveloped within her charms;
Set my body, my very soul afire!
She promised love ever more;
Days of laughter, nights of pleasure;
Even marriage by the seashore,
One I could trust an' forever more treasure.
As the vessel neared the shore
Close to imminent disaster,
A silent voice deep within my core
Said, "Wait! What's the rush? Y'ur still the master!"
Turnin' 'er hard back on course
I yelled, "One day, I will return!"
Instantly overcome with remorse,
I never chanced a look back o'er the stern.
In the darkness of the night
I heered 'er melancholy plea.
"Oh sailor, sailor, why take flight?
I'll always love you. Please come back to me."
Those words, "I'll always love you."
Have haunted me o'er the years;
"Please come back to me." Tis sad but true,
I gave up love in search of other spheres.
The captain looked mad to me,
Quite completely out of his realm;
As he stood starin' 'cross the sea,
One hand o'er his eyes, t' other at the helm.
He was dressed in tux an' tails,
A silken scarf about his throat,
His starched shirt gleamin' white as the sails
Flapped loosely in the breeze below his coat.
For awhile he was silent,
And then, almost in a whisper,
"Mate! Do you hear that soulful lament?
There! There! Now it sounds a little crisper.
Listen! She's callin' me name.
Step lively mate! Take holt this spoke!"
No sooner did I grab hold the same,
He was over the side doin' the stroke.
As he swam away he said,
"If yuh want the longytude,
It's under the pillow on me bed
Written side b' side with the lattytude."
"Hah! As if I'd come back here.
This place is a source of madness.
But wait! What's that sound, that lilt I hear?
Can it be my name, sung with such sadness?"
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